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|Sometimes as parents we need reminding about some of the basics of raising young people. Here are fives simple , yet power principles to help you raise caring, community-minded responsible young people.
1. Hand over power and responsibility to teenagers
Essentially our job as parents is to make ourselves redundant. This means we let young people take increasing responsibility for their own well-being. It means they increasingly make decisions for themselves however they need to experience the consequences of their choices so they can improve adjust their decisions and behaviour accordingly.
2. Set limits for identity formation (as well as safety)
When your young person was small you set limits and boundaries to keep him or her safe and also to teach him about the rights of others. Now that you have an adolescent the purpose of limits has broadened to include identity formation. He or she is trying to work out who the hell they are, and what are they capable of doing. This identity formation involves an element of risk, but needs to occur within an open field of choices. A young person sorts through choices , tries a few and embraces some.
3. Use choices and consequences like a good cop
The key to using choices and consequences effectively is to use them like a good cop, not a bad or rude cop. Be calm, be pleasant, and be dispassionate when you use them. You want young people to be mad at themselves , not at you. If you are angry or implement consequences in a vindictive manner young people will more than likely be angry with you, not themselves.
4. Use a problem-solving approach individually
One way of dealing with teenagers is using a problem-solving approach. That is, you state the rule: ?I need you home safely by??.o?clock.? And then follow up saying, ?Let's come up with some ways to make this work for you and me.? Then generate some ideas and pick a solution and try it. Talk in a week or two to see if it is working.
5. Choose your battles wisely ? don't sweat the small stuff!
The trick to with living cooperatively with teenagers is not to fight with them over the minor events. It is easy to become caught up in battles over relatively inconsequential issues such as bedroom tidiness and appearance , or school uniforms, which are inconsequential in the broader scheme of life. The trouble with sweating over the small stuff is that relationships are damaged with young people over issues of relatively little importance. It also drains energy away so that when there really is a need to hold some ground over an important issue such as a young person coming home at a reasonable time from a party there is just nothing left to fight with.
It is indeed a bittersweet moment sending your child off to college. On one hand, youíre quite proud that he or she is growing up. However, itís always hard saying goodbye although you know theyíll be back.
The parents will have plenty of time to do all the things they wanted to do. Many couples end up being bored and may even become dissatisfied with the current state of the marriage. Fortunately for you , there are a few ways that you can keep this from happening.
After your child is left, you will have a lot more free time on your hands. Many parents put their hopes and desires on the back burner in order to support their children. Once you have a lot of free time on your hands, youíll be in a position to resume the pursuit of your goals.
Many parents use this time to return to school. You should really look into this option if you ever think that you want to switch careers. You could also use the time to learn a new hobby.
You should also keep your partner in mind and plan to spend more time with him or her too. Itís best that you share activities together but also have ones that you do by yourselves. You will also like the fact that youíll only have to plan vacations for just the two of you. Spending quality time together is important in order to keep your marriage strong.
You will also be missing your child most likely, so make sure that you communicate often. You can use phones , webcams, instant messaging, and email. If youíre computer literate, joining Facebook is a common option.
Sending texts isnít too obtrusive either. Just make sure to call every so often since youíll most likely miss hearing your childís voice. Donít be too overbearing however since your child will enjoy his or her freedom. You should consider only calling once or twice a week.
Itís common to come across marriages in which the couples have set aside their differences in order to avoid heartache for their children. Whenever the children move out , these issues often come back. These unresolved conflicts can often lead to divorce.
If youíre having trouble in your marriage, then itís important that you know you donít have to work through it alone. Talking to a professional is one of the best ways to rwork out conflicts in your marriage. If you and your spouse are having problems, then you should schedule an appointment as soon as possible.Doc No.sdlkh-sdAE
Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on stop divorce proceedings and stop my divorce
Dynamics GP Partner Newsflash: International Installation Aspects Computers Articles | February 8, 2009
Microsoft Dynamics GP or formerly known ERP Great Plains Dynamics and eEnterprise , is Microsoft SQL Server based application. ?At this time, Spring 2009 it is translated and localized for English speaking countries: USA, Canada (where it is also available in French for Quebec), UK , South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and Spanish Speaking Caribbean, Central and South America. ?